I was planning to go to school after lunch yesterday, but it turns out that it was only half-day. So I spent the rest of the afternoon finishing Tuesdays With Morrie. It's a very good and inspiring story and I found a spark to stop being pessimistic and start being optimistic again.

And there are no classes in school again today. The storm is really strong and I feel bad for the homeless people...

I feel like burning a CD. *erherm, Gia...*

---

After the F.I. Youth Camp last Friday/Saturday, I miss Chase (a.k.a. Kuya Topher) even more. I didn't get to talk to him and it makes me nostalgic.

But why do I feel this way? He's not my crush anymore, and I'm sure that this isn't love either... It can't be lurve. I'm too young to fall in lurve....

During his talk on servant-leadership, he told us a story when he was in Gr. 1: After doing his business in the washroom, he pulled up his shorts but forgot to wear his underpants. It must've been uncomfortable, so during lunch, he wanted to wear undies but there were higher batches in front of the CR and he's patronized by them. There was no other place for him to change, thus he finally decided to change in.... THE MIDDLE OF THE GYM. He pulled down his shorts again and was about to put on his briefs when everyone stopped everything they did; it was the Angelus. He had nothing else to do but just stand butt-naked while covering his self with his shorts.

When he finished the story, I couldn't tell what was its connection with Christian servant-leadership. But he said that if a boy who was laughed at for doing such a stupid thing became part of the student councils when he was in elementary, high school, and college, what more of the others?

I'm so amazed by his wisdom and confidence. He's really interesting. Chase is the type of person who is sincere with his words yet there you could find hope in him. When I got to know him last summer in Cagayan and Camiguin, I was really glad to meet him. It was because of him that I believed in my strengths. He said in Cagayan that I was assertive, and I told him it was impossible because I was always a push-over since my mother tried to run away; I told on my brother because he was annoying me and then Mom got angry and didn't spend the night in our house and my sister kept on throwing me angry looks......

Well, maybe there are times that I can be assertive. But I know that most of the time I'm not.

I am still in search of my very own object of infatuation. The reason why I used to update more often was because of *bleep*, who is also my eye-opener and inspiration. Speaking of *bleep*, I am already getting closer to him and sort of becoming friends. And I like that better than the time he was my crush.

It has been some time since I've updated here. But the truth is, I have no spark to motivate me in writing. I don't know what to say anymore because I'm afraid that I'd say something that's wrong... something that would make me seem 'egoistic' (which I am and trying not to be).

You know, this life really confuses me. When I don't think before doing something, I hurt people and I'd feel really bad. But when I think before acting, something or someone would rush and hurry me up, and I'd feel awful again and I'd also look stupid. It all sucks. What do people want from me?

Anyhoo, my mood is getting better. It's currently rainy and cold, and I'm contented with it (although I pity the ones who have no proper homes). When it's not raining, the heavens would resemble a swirl of vanilla ice cream. Occasionally the blue tinges would also show, and, as always, the sky would take my breath away.

I wish I knew how to fly and to walk in the sky. It would be the best gift that I would ever have...

It's too bad, though, that I am phobic of heights, despite the fact that I would like to see the world from a very high perspective. I pray for the day to come when I that fear will escape from me.

Morpheus


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Seahorse


?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??
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it's a really funny movie, though. and it's cute. but it's really not worth wasting your time over... i've notice that new movies from hollywood are starting to have the 90's theme. take "thunderbirds" for example, and you'd feel 90's-ish and captain-planet-slash-ninja-turtles-sort of air by just reading the name...

today is a rainy day. a very rainy day. and very rainy days make me sleepy, so after i ate lunch and did my chores, i went to sleep for three undisturbed hours, which is rare for me on weekends.

and our rooms are almost done. i can't wait to invite my friends to come here in my place to have a sleep-over.

hear that, gia? eeeh?? hyukhyukhyuk! i'm having a sleep-over! harhar! and yer invited! *pours wine onto a glass* *sips* *hiccups* tee-hee! c'mere as soon as the house is already... fixed. (please don't mind the unnecessary laughs ::grin::)

oooh, i must start writing normally (var: in a weird way) as soon as possible...

To all the people who read the entry before this (which is probably Gia only), I bring good tidings: I WILL update my blog and be perky! ::esctatic jumps::

yay for italics!

yay for bolds!

yay for underlines!

~*WALA LANG*~

And lookie! I've got fetuses now! And I didn't have to fuck or anything...



I adopted a cute lil' tempura fetus
from Fetusmart! mm..yummy.



I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!



I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

i wish i was more responsible. because if i was, i wouldn't be as stressed as i am now. i couldn't sleep properly; i toss and turn. why? i lost my index card in p.e. and i couldn't find it. i knew i tucked it in a book and when i returned to that book it wasn't there anymore, as if someone took it and threw it away... what's worse, ms. gregorios will fail me. and what's even worse is that gia's index card was with mine so it's also lost... as if i haven't done enough wrong to her. why is this happening now? why did it get lost, of all the stupid days in my stupid life?

wait...

something's wrong with me. there's a big itchy scab somewhere that i want to pick off but i couldn't find it. something is REALLY wrong with me: stressed out, forgetful, skeptical, untrustworthy, self-centered, insensitve-slash-oversensitive, confused, and scatter-brained...

I WASN'T LIKE THIS! gawd, someone help me! PLEASE!

why is this happening to me?....

there used to be a survey after my first entry for to-day, but i removed it because it was waaay too long for people to be interested in reading.

i'm going out with gia and wina to watch 'ella enchanted'. more soon.

this is all i've got to say for the moment.